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Katelyn

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Hello. [Dec. 4th, 2009|10:28 am]
Katelyn
[Current Mood |cheerfulcheerful]

Hi, I'm Katelyn. :)
This journal is a mix of public
& friends only entries.
Feel free to add me, just please
leave a comment telling me who you are.

If there's anything you want to know
about me, check out the info. :D
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(no subject) [Nov. 6th, 2009|11:51 pm]
Katelyn
[Current Music |The Steinways - CGI | Powered by Last.fm]

I feel so unbearably alone most of the time, and honestly I have felt this way most of my life. I wish I'd quit being so stupid. I either don't like or don't trust the people I talk to (minus Chris, of course). I suck at life. Really. Today has just been a shitty day.
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(no subject) [Nov. 5th, 2009|03:13 pm]
Katelyn
[Tags|, , , , , , , , , , ]
[Current Mood |soresore]
[Current Music |The Unlovables - Counting Sheep | Powered by Last.fm]

So lately I have become even more addicted to comics. I know, I know I'm a major nerd. It all started innocently enough with reading Ghost World and then moving on to webcomics. Yeah, not anymore. Currently I am reading Batman: Year One by Frank Miller. It's pretty boss.

Speaking of Batman! Chris and I have a new baby. He's a little kitten that I found on the side of the highway, and his name is Bruce Wayne. Hali has been keeping him for a couple days, but I am going to pick him up and sneak him home tonight. Dad doesn't know about him, buuuut he'll get over it. I'll be gone in less than 2 months, so whatever. I'm taking Bruce Wayne and Molly, and my mom is taking Hootie, Oliver, and Wednesday with her when she moves.

This house has been really awkward since Mommy told Dad that she's leaving him again. I mean, don't get me wrong, Dad and I do not get along, but I cannot help but feel bad for him. I wish he and I got along. I wish a lot of things were different, but I don't know if they ever will be. I don't really know what to do about it, either.

So, I went to NH last week, and it was amazing. I got to see my favorite boy in the entire world, and some of my other favorites, but the trip itself was really rushed. I'll be up there again in 4 weeks, but I'll only be there 3 days. I'm just going up to sign apartment crap. I'll also be there to spend my birthday with Christopher. (: That will be amazing. I don't know if we'll really get to see anyone else, though. I know we'll see Matt and Kristen since we'll be IN DURHAM, but that's probably it. I'll only be there from Thursday-Sunday. I know we are going to have dinner together blah blah by ourselves for my birthday, we're supposed to do apartment stuff, we have to have dinner with his parents, and then he's taking me to see The Fad in Boston. It should be an exciting weekend, and then I get to come home to my literature finals. I'm just so excited to have this semester over, that I really don't care too much about rushing around.

I can't believe all this is really happening. It's nice, though. I'm so nervous, but I love Chris very much. No one makes me feel more at home or safer. No one could ever make me laugh more or entertain me so easily.

In other news, I'm trying to get a job before I leave just to pay for Christmas presents. I am sooo broke it's insane.

Classes are still going well. Blah Blah.

My kidneys are still shitty blah blah. I don't know what to do, really. I guess I'm going to have to go to the doctor again, but I can't afford hospital bills even with insurance. It sucks.

Whatever.
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(no subject) [Oct. 24th, 2009|07:57 pm]
Katelyn
[Tags|, , , , , , , , ]
[Current Mood |calmcalm]
[Current Music |Bomb the Music Industry! - Little Brother (Andrew Jackson Jihad Cover - 2008) | Powered by Last.fm]

I've been thinking so much lately. Mostly I've been thinking about becoming a grown up (which..face it, paying rent and bills or not I will never be) and the things I left behind in my adolescence (Well, not just the things, but the people also). These things make me both happy and sad.

I've been thinking about my friend Kayla, a lot. I miss her so much, and I wish we were still best friends. We are friends, but when we talk it's just so damn awkward. I suppose this is because even though we used to be practically the same person when we were 12 years old, we are very different now, yet we will always be similar. She moved to Cross Lanes a few months back, and I've really been thinking about going to see her or something. I should really see her before I move because I don't know if I will ever get the chance to see her after that. I don't want that to be something I regret.

I've also been thinking about Erica, a lot, lately. Her wedding was last weekend, and I was both happy and sad that I wasn't there. I mean, we were best friends, and it hurts me that of all the things that happened, I know some of them were my fault but I didn't deserve the whole blame. I've spent the past million years doing everything she's ever wanted me to do. Really. Looking back I can see that I let her walk all over me, and that's my fault for not standing up for myself. There were good times, though. Sometimes it felt like she was the only person ever on my side, and a lot of the time she "got" what I said like no other girl did. All in all, I know it's best to leave this friendship behind. Things are just better that way. I don't really hold hard feelings for her. I wish her the best of luck with her marriage and life and whatever, but I just can't be a part of her life anymore.

Things with Chris are going fantastic. I get to see him in four days, and much to my surprise, I found out today that I get to see him on my birthday. Then when I got home from NH and take my finals, Mom and I get to go pick up Penelope the hedgehog. I'm really glad that I met Chris. It's kind of ridiculous. It's nice to have someone that can know what I'm thinking before I say it, can always make me smile, and is always up for whatever adventure we have planned. We make plans that are probably kind of ridiculous like: going to Japan, seeing the redwoods in California, touring Europe, etc. It's nice to have someone that has the ambition to see everything like I do. I think moving in with him in January is going to be super scary, but I think regardless the outcome it's something I will never regret doing. I love him, and it's weird saying that because now I know that before him I never loved anyone before. Period. He's my best friend, my lover, my everything.

School has gone really well this semester. I actually really like it. I applied to UNH to transfer a few weeks ago (as did Chris), and I'm really nervous! I hope I get in. I've always done well in school, but I'm still really scared. I don't exactly have a back up plan. That's probably really stupid on my part.

I've also been really hateful lately. I think it's just because I hate being here so much. Hopefully my vacation will clear this up in a few days.

My kidneys have been bothering me, too. I don't have anymore stones (thank God), but I am possibly experiencing acute kidney failure. I have to have a lot more tests done. It sucks, but I knew that it was pretty much inevitable. I've had kidney/urinary problems since I was a baby. The pain is the worst part. For the most part it's constant, but sometimes it's a lot more intense than others. It's this indescribable sharp pain in my lower back. I count myself lucky, though. I could have a lot worse medical problems than this. I've also been extremely lucky to have a boyfriend, two best friends, a mother, and grandparents that have been supportive as possible. Being sick has really made me appreciate things I didn't appreciate before and honestly, probably took for granted. Through all the pain and everything, for that I am thankful.
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(no subject) [Oct. 10th, 2009|04:31 pm]
Katelyn
[Tags|, , , , , , , ]
[Current Mood |artisticartistic]
[Current Music |Off With Their Heads - I AM YOU | Powered by Last.fm]

I figure I'll update since I am pretty bored. I am currently bleaching my hair, so I can dye it Electric Banana.

Lately I've been doing a lot of Christmas shopping. Matt, Kristen, and Mrs. G are totally taken care of. I've gotten a few things for Mom and a few things for Chris, too. I'm satisfied. (: I am SUPER excited for Christmas this year.

I sent in my application to UNH, and I feel relieved. I'm still really nervous that I won't get in, but I have my finger and toes crossed. If I don't get in, I really have no idea what I am going to do. I just don't.

I've been in the mood to bake a lot lately. Since the week ahead seems like it will be pretty mellow I think I am going to try some new cupcake recipes. I've decided that I'm going to get these cute little dessert boxes from Michael's and give everyone baked goods as one of their Christmas presents.

I've been reading A LOT more than usual, which is saying something. My Adolescent Lit class assigned that I read 25 books between now and December 2nd. I have to write a summary and review on each. I like the assignment, but it is so time consuming, especially since I have other classes. Whatever. It could be a lot worse. So far I've read V For Vendetta, A Catcher In the Rye, Grrrl: A Novel, All Blacked Out With Nowhere to Go, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, and the Nothing Nice to Say collection. I had already read The Perks of Being a Wallflower (It's my personal favorite.) and The Catcher In the Rye, but I didn't mind. It was nice to reread them. I'm currently reading The Graveyard Book by Neil Gaiman. I love it. He wrote Coraline and the Sandman graphic novel collections.

I get to see Christopher in 18 days. (: I'm pretty excited.
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(no subject) [Sep. 20th, 2009|07:05 pm]
Katelyn
[Current Mood |artisticartistic]
[Current Music |The Replacements - I Will Dare | Powered by Last.fm]

My life isn't exciting.
My life revolves around school, and soon enough, work.
I get very little free time, and in that time I have been playing Scribblenaughts.

I did manage to find time to get a new tattoo the other day (while playing Scribblenauts, mind you). It's a Nation of Amanda tattoo. For those of you who don't know who she is, she is Mitch Clem's fiance. Mitch Clem is the author of the popular web comics Nothing Nice to Say and My Stupid Life (my personal favorite of all the web comics out there). Amanda does art work for the Texas advice column, Dear Uncle Matt. She does other art projects as well, including work with Mitch. Anyway THIS is the tattoo I got based off of her work. Mind you this was taken with my iPhone. It doesn't do the colors justice. I'll post a better photo after it's healed. Also, take note how swollen this tattoo made my foot!

Photobucket

I get to see Christopher in about a month! I am super duper mega excited because I miss his face. We haven't planned anything for that time, which is weird for him. Normally he's all about making use of our time together. I think since both of us will be balancing school and homework on this visit we are going to take it easy. I know we are going to go to this show on Halloween. That should be fun. I wish we weren't staying in a hotel. I feel the strong urge to bake a rainbow cake with him, buuuut that would be impossible in the hotel. Maybe we will make one at Cam's house or something. That way I know that it won't go to waste.

I went to Michaels yesterday and they had a ton of stuff 50% off or more. I got some canvas to complete an art project, a kit to make a cupcake sun catcher, paint, ribbon, 2 picture frames, and a neat owl basket (I plan on using this to store all of our remotes/game controllers in the apartment). Now that I have this paint I can begin revamping/decorating some furniture for the apartment. I need to go to Huntington to get some fabric to redo a chair. Maybe I can do this Tuesday, and Hali and I can go see 500 Days of Summer (finally).

I really should try to stay home this week-- at least most of the week. This week is horribly busy with homework and exams. I can manage that one afternoon, though. I get out of class at 12:30, and if she's ready by the time I get there we can be in Huntington by 2:00 or 2:30. I know she needs to go to Huntington anyway.
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When they raise the landing gear, will your heart stay here? [Sep. 10th, 2009|09:40 am]
Katelyn
[Tags|, , , , , , , , ]
[Current Mood |blahblah]
[Current Music |Say Anything - I Want to Know Your Plans | Powered by Last.fm]

"You're what keeps me
believing the world's not gone dead,
the strength in my bones,
put the words in my head. When they
pour out to paper, it's all for you.
'Cause that's what you do."




I've been a mess, lately. I'm not the crying type, but almost every time that I get some alone time I end up crying a little lately. I don't know. This distance thing is getting to me with Chris. I'm not saying I want to break up with him or anything. That would make me more miserable. I just hate being so far away. I won't lie I'm totally jealous of girls that can see their boyfriends once a week, even. I've never felt this way about anyone, ever. I never thought I could feel this way. I've had boyfriends before, and I never really cared. I just thought I wasn't the relationship type. I guess I am, though. We could grow apart someday, but for now, I cannot imagine being without him.

I get to see him for Halloween, and I can't wait. I'd go see him right now if I could. I also know that it's going to be a million times harder to leave this time. This time is it, though. After this visit I'll never have to visit again. He and I will be living together with Molly Sue, Chowder, and our future hedgehog. That's all I want. Of all the things I look forward to, I look forward to that the most.
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(no subject) [Aug. 15th, 2009|03:40 pm]
Katelyn
[Tags|, , , , , , , , , , , ]
[Current Mood |amusedamused]

I wasted most of my summer...again. Classic Katelyn, forreal. It always hits me the last few days, like today. School starts Monday, and I didn't really do anything I planned on doing. I planned on going white water rafting and camping with Hali. Did I? No. Hali and I were also supposed to go to Kings Island, and we never did. There are other things, like little projects I was supposed to do, and of course never did. I had a few painting to do, but I never even started them. Pathetic.

I DID go to NH like I wanted, though. Chris and I were supposed to go apartment hunting, but I didn't do that either, because I woke up crying Tuesday morning and had to go to the ER. Turns out I have 7 kidney stones, an ovarian cyst, and a horrible UTI. I've been to the ER 3 times in the past 2 weeks. I never want to see a hospital again. I haven't passed any of the stones, and I'm in a lot of pain. Chris was amazing, though. He drove me to the ER the two times I went while I was in NH, and he took amazing care of me. If I didn't think he could get any sweeter he drove me the 15 hours home and flew home the next morning. I love him. I really do. It's weird because we were like best friends. We were two nerdy kids that just happened to have a million things in common. I never thought I would fall in love with my best friend.

Tomorrow I am supposed to go meet Josh for lunch, and there are going to be a lot of people there that we graduated with that I couldn't care less about. I'm really excited to see Josh, though. He was one of my best friends throughout school, and I've barely talked to him, let alone see him at all in the past year. We've been great friends since he knocked two of my teeth out in 3rd grade with a kickball. Such a fairytale friendship, no? Hah, I love him.

School starts Monday, and I am pretty excited. I have been bored/miserable since I got home from NH, and loads of stress is just what I need. Really. I need anything and everything to take my mind off the fact that I am stuck in West Virginia and not "home." I got all the information for my first online class today, and my log in info is wrong. My financial aid got seriously fucked up, also, so this semester is off to a spectacular start. My schedule is pretty fantastic, though. I have classes Monday- Thursday. Monday: 12:30-2:00, 3:30-6:00 Tuesday: 11:00-12:30, 3:30-6:00 Wednesday 12:30-2:00 Thursday: 11:00-12:30. Love it.

I have to get a job, too. I need to work as much as possible in the next few months. I have a lot of money saved for the apartment, but I want to save more. This is the most adult thing that I have ever done, and what can I say? I'm terrified. This isn't going to be mommy and daddy paying rent. Chris and I will be paying for it ourselves. I'm sure it will be fine, I'm just scared. Terrified is a closer word, actually.
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(no subject) [Jul. 25th, 2009|03:20 am]
Katelyn
[Tags|, , , , , , , ]
[Current Mood |thirstythirsty]
[Current Music |Bomb the Music Industry! - Stand There Until You're Sober | Powered by Last.fm]

So, I feel like my life is on repeat...and not in a good way. Don't get me wrong; some things are fantastic. I just do the same thing day in/day out. I wake up between 11:00 am and 2:00pm, I pee, take a shower, fix my hair for no reason, check my messages, read a little, clean, make dinner, maybe go see Hali, talk to Chris until the wee hours of the morning, repeat. I need a job. I've made an effort to get one, but I need to make more of an effort. Really. I need to get stuff ready for school. I need to get ready to transfer schools. I feel so exhausted, and I don't know why. Does anyone else ever feel like that? It can't just be me, can it?

The way things have been going this past month with Chris and me has made me so happy. It's the happiest I've been in a long time, and I guess that it just kind of highlights the fact that I haven't been happy. This leads me to wonder, where has the past year gone? What did I DO that was significant to my existence? Nothing. I mean, I know the unmentionable happened spring of 2008, but I didn't see the depression carrying on this long even when I was at my worst. I'm so angry when I think about what happened. I guess that's because I remember the person I was before that happened. It was a lot easier to laugh and smile and live. I lost a year of my life to that, and I can honestly say that I learned who my real friends were. Matt was/is a saint. I don't think anyone put up with more of my shit. I'm grateful for every it of it. Things changed a lot for me when I met Chris last November. Since then we've become extremely close. I'm very grateful for that, also. He means so much to me. I have changed a lot in this past year, even if I can't remember when it happened. I mean, the whole year is such a blur. I know that I am becoming a it more dependent, which is good. I have come to realize that I cannot always do every single things by myself. I have to have help sometimes. I've also learned to say no more. I have learned that I can't always do things for people just because they ask. I need to worry about my own happiness, also. Right now, for example, I am STUCK in West Virginia because I couldn't say no to someone. Clearly, learning to say no has helped me.

If I didn't mention it earlier, Chris and I are moving in together this winter. I am really excited, but I am scared at the same time. I've never lived with a boyfriend before, so this is a HUGE step for me. It feels right, though. Really. The boy makes me so incredibly happy; I know I'm lucky.

I'm really tired. I think I rambled on so much because I am so tired.

I love you guys.

Goodnight.
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(no subject) [Jul. 15th, 2009|07:15 am]
Katelyn
[Current Mood |discontentdiscontent]
[Current Music |Laura Stevenson and The Cans - Nervous Rex | Powered by Last.fm]

I'm in a shitty mood for no apparent reason. That's a lie; I know why. I miss Chris desperately. I'll get to see him in 16 days, though. It's been too long. Way too long.

I really want some vegetable lo mein.

I haven't been to bed yet; I'm so tired. I just can't sleep.
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